Sin, Sorrow, and Sadness

Sin, Sorrow and Sadness -- This would certainly preach ! This has been a rough couple of days. Started out good on Sunday evening I spoke at a local women's group and received a good reception and hopefully some help from them for the ministry. Had only been home a few minutes when the phone rang and the person on the other line said, Pastor --- gave me your number. We just had a call from a close family friend that there had been an incident at her home. I told him to call the Sheriff's office, I called the Advocate on call. When I got the name I knew immediately who the victim was. I had talked to her several times last summer and had encouraged her to seek guidance and come to the group meetings. She declined and said it was better and she would be fine. Well, it is not fine, she was gone for the day and when she returned he had trashed the house,taken furniture, money, car etc. She had no idea he was planning to do so. I talked to her on Monday,she of course was very distraught and seeking legal help. After speaking to her for a few moments I could tell she is still in denial that she has a problem. This is her 3rd abusive relationship. It saddens me that there is help for her and she refuses to except it. I often think, if I had someone like me when I was in the same situation would I have excepted help? Monday AM I had another call from a woman who had called her Pastor and he gave her my number. She has recently recalled a terrible incident from her childhood that involved sexual abuse when she was very young. It has devastated her as the abuser was a relative. As I have had no experience or specialized training in this area I gave her the number of someone who can help her. This AM I had another call from a lady who had visited our local food pantry,the volunteer had a premonition she was in an abusive relationship, she gave her my number. I prayed with her over the phone and helped her put together a safety plan to be used should she decide to leave. In the course of our talk I have reason to believe she may have an alcohol problem. This is a common factor for women to drink to help cope with the abuse, of course this has its own set of problems. Shortly after I finished that call the phone rang again,another woman seeking help, she has left the abuser and realizes she needs help, so I am meeting her in the morning. It is hard to believe in a county of 17,000 people there is so much Domestic/Family abuse.I have logged in over 60 hours this month and have a full day of counsel tomorrow and a group meeting tomorrow night. Do it all over again on Friday. If you are a person of prayer, please pray that God will send someone to help me. He said He would not give us more than we could handle, but sometimes I feel I can not take on another client. The sin of this world seems to be multiplying by leaps and bounds. Domestic Violence causes so much sorrow and brings sadness into the lives of all who come in contact with it. I know there can be LIFE after DV and this is what drives me each and everyday to impart the truth of God's Word into the lives of these women that they will see and hear the truth of His Word and it will surely set them free. I will be at a Ministers Conference in Houston next week, I always come home refreshed, renewed, and ready to keep running the race He has set before me. Until next time, "Keep Your Eyes On Jesus, He has ALL the Answers".

# 10 Grandson

Luke Walker Tope arrived on Wednesday February 18th at 10:35 AM. He joins 2 brothers Will 4 1/2 and John 21 mo. Mom and baby are fine, Dad is recovering, just kidding. My oldest son, Wesley waited until he was in his mid forties to begin his family. Natalie and he are great parents. This makes 10 grandsons and 6 granddaughters for Bobby and I,ranging in age from this newborn to 22. It is hard for me to realize I am the Grandma to 16. Each one is special and has his/her own unique ability to pull on Grandma's heart strings. Grandchildren bring their own special joy into your life, I believe we enjoy them more due to the fact we are not responsible for the day to day work that is needed to bring up a child to be a confident,stable adult who will make his/her parents proud. I would not want to be attempting to bring up a child today,the world is a much different place than when I was a child in the 50's. A time when for the most part we were allowed to be children,yes we had chores etc. that most children do not have today, but we were raised to respect our parents, teachers, and those who were in authoritty over us. I best not be going home with a note of misbehavior at school, if I was in the wrong I knew there would be consquences from my Mom and Dad. I see my teenage grandchildren under so much stress from school and peer pressure that they do not seem to be enjoying this time in their life before they become adults and are on their own. My prayer for our youth today slow down, this should be a good time in your life. Listen to Mom and Dad, they want what is best for you, allow God to become an important part of your life and He will lead you to a life of Love, Joy and Peace. Lord let me be a positive influence in the life of my Grandchildren, may I live to see each of them come to know you in a personal way as Lord and Savior of their life. I had 2 Godly Grandma's who prayed for me through my years of rebellion. I believe their prayers have been answered and one day when we all meet again I will say Thank You Grandma!

19 years and Counting (Everyone said it would not last)

Twice in the same day !! I forgot to share one really important thing with you bloggers. Today is my 19th Wedding Anniversary, you asked,"Why is that such a big deal?" Ok, I will tell you. Bobby and I had each been married several times, so the chances of our making a success at a relationship was about 5%. It has not been easy,blending our families together,putting aside the mistakes of the past and dealing with ex spouses. It has been worth the time and effort, today we are Survivors in an area that we had so badly failed. We both had to learn to love each other through the good and the bad. To look to God for our strength and realize we can not do it alone. It was hard to understand and realize that it is very unfair and selfish to expect your partner to make and keep you happy all the time.So here we are today after many failures proud to say, 'WE beat the odds and we made it!" So as I sit here at my kitchen I am so thankful that God has taught me that," IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME !" PS We are on Grandbaby watch for the 16th time. Please pray for a safe delivery and a healthy baby.

Where Does The Time GO ??

Can not believe that 12 days have passed since I logged on. When I was a little girl I was always wishing time would go faster, you know at Christmas or my Birthday. Could not wait to be 10 a big girl, a teenager, then 21. My Grandma used to say," Girl you wish your life away, the older you get the faster it goes." Well, now I know what Grandma was talking about, believe me from 50 on seems like a snap of the fingers and I am almost 66. Just caught myself today thinking I will be glad when next Wednesday gets here and I get the other cataract removed. It is very hard to thread a needle with one good and one not so good eye. I have 3 different projects started at the present, cutting blocks for a knotted comforter for one of the boys, a Crosstitch wall hanging for a grandchild and a small pres tamped wall hanging that needs hand quilted which I am going to keep for myself. WHY do I start so many at the same time. Then I am also reading a Christian fiction novel and studying the Boundaries book for Support Group. There are now 2 SG's, I started a new group last Thursday evening with 3 ladies, at least I can go back and dig out the Bible studies that I have finished with SG 1. Good News !! I have upcoming speaking engagements on the calendar with 2 of my target churches for support in 2009 for my Domestic Violence Program. The last time I spoke 2 ladies came up after the meeting and asked about the group meeting, they were no longer in a DV relationship, but after listening to me they realized they had unresolved issues. This prompted me to offer another group meeting as I feel the other group has a firm foundation towards becoming Survivor's. We also are already into the 3rd chapter of the Boundaries book which is intense and I felt not a good time to add new members.I just finished an article for the local papers in my area with testimonies of several of the women who have been in the group long enough to say they are no longer Victims, but now are Survivors. It amazes me that God chose me, someone with a not so pleasant past, with lots of wrong turns and foolish choices to help these women begin a new life. He truly is a loving and a forgiving God, it has been much harder for me to forgive myself for the pain and hurt that I inflicted on my children, because of my wayward life. So if you are out there reading this and you have a checkered past just ask forgiveness, He stand at the door of your heart waiting for you to open the door and invite him in. God is so GOOD and He has surely been GOOD to me. I am adding the testimonies of the SG women to this posting believing they will encourage you to know that God looks at the heart and He sees our desire to have a lifestyle that is a wittiness to His power and glory. Survivor # 1  The biggest effect on my life has been that I have friends who hold me accountable to make changes in my life. Sometimes those changes aren't comfortable and sometimes they bring up issues from the past you have to deal with. What I like about the group is that we lift each other up. I've seen women come who are feeling so bad about themselves and after some time they become very positive and have set goals for themselves (something they probably had not done before). I know I can share my problems, that other people have been there. We look to God for solutions in His word. His Word is always the best place to get advice. Sometimes our problems have nothing to do with domestic violence but to other issues such as bad health. You know when you are part of this group that people are always concerned about how you are and lift you up. It's very important to me! Survivor # 2 I am 37 years old and have been married for 3 and a half years. As like my other relationships there were problems. At some point, I think you have to start looking at yourself instead of thinking the problem is all your spouse's. In 2007, I saw an ad in the paper about a support group that was faith based, I made a call and met the most amazing lady ever, Norma Threet. I met and started going to group meetings. My marriage was falling apart. I wanted to do everything I could to keep us together. I wanted to be the wife that God wanted me to be. I also met one on one with Norma and my marriage is 100 percent better. My life has changed because I made a choice to make changes. I have grown in the word of God through the guidance Norma gave me. I have learned to look at situations in a different way, which has made me and my spouse grow closer, we now pray together. Prayer is powerful! I thank you Norma and all the ladies in the group for all of the support. I have now moved to another state and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you all. I can still at anytime call Norma and she is there to guide me and pray with me. I will never be able to thank Norma enough for helping me to make a better life for myself and my family. Always be open-minded and be willing to accept what God has in or you. Survivor # 3 I came to Texas in 2007 and went to the Lord's Pantry and asked if they new anyone that dealt with domestic violence. I was given Norma Threet's number.and the rest is history. She has been a support for me through it all. I could reach her any time day or night. Even if I didn't reach her and didn't leave a voice mail she would call me back. She has been like a mother to me, she is straight forward and honest. She knows most of the laws and what she doesn't know she has the resources through the Domestic Violence Program to find out. Coming from such a dysfunctional background it was nice having someone that had been through something similar to me. Someone to talk to who understood. Norma doesn't sugar coat anything, if your willing to work at change, she will be there every step of the way. I don't know what I would have done without the Support Group and Norma Threet. Survivor # 4 Why does anyone stay in an abusive relationship? I can only speak from my own experience. I didn't know. I had the right to say “NO” and mean it. I didn't know that demeaning statements about and to me was abuse and would also affect my children. I didn't know I could separate myself from his lifestyle and associate with my own family, not always with his family. This kind of abuse happens to men as well as to women. These are sure signs of immaturity. I was raised in a religious home in an age where “children were seen and not heard.” No TV, no movies, no dances, no jeans, and no boys. It was taboo to speak of sex and worldly things. Children in our family were rightly taught to remain pure until married. Because I rebelled as a teenager and didn’t listen, I thought the right thing to do was to marry. It wasn’t, our LORD is a forgiving God. The Creator made us in his likeness that we might have freedom of choice to live in His purpose. My husband never hit me, but his disrespect in words and actions that hurt just as bad and as long as a hit with his fist,only inwards. It took years of anger and many painful separations for our family before I could get help. Abuse hurts the whole family, especially the children. It was with the support and encouragement of support group meetings,we finally found a way to “meet in the middle” and respect each other. Sometimes, it takes a third party to intercede through prayer to find God’s purpose for our lives. We appreciate the Leon County Domestic Violence Advocates prayers and help to find God’s plan for our lives. Truth is, a person can claim to be Christian all their life; do everything possible to live in his Will, but still be away from His purpose for their lives. Don’t be dismayed, prayer changes things,there is help available. God’s Word says:Bear one another’s burdens,and so fulfill the law of Christ. Survivor # 5 I made many wrong choices throughout my life, including choosing the wrong partner. I ended up in a verbal, mental, and emotionally abusive relationship. My wrong thinking and bad self esteem had me convinced that all our "problems" were my fault. I suffered and so did my children. Only after attending the LCDVA support group did I see things differently. Because the focus is on the Lord and how He sees you, my life has changed, but it was a process. I no longer live in fear and intimidation. The Lord did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. I am no longer a victim and learned that having a "victim mentality" can keep you in that role throughout your life. God has made us more than conquerors. The support group is just that; support during times of doubt and knowing that you're not the only one. There are people that have been there and understand. It was and still is nice to know there's a place of comfort and counsel especially from a Biblical perspective.